The Greater Division 4 Griffins were sitting a mere three points outside of the top four before going on a three match run against our old rivals and two of the teams we were looking to knock out of the finals spots.

It began in style against the Super Tafe from down the road, the Griffins bolstered by the inclusions of Pete Waller – absent for over a month with various ailments – and The Dan Harris. After conceding four triples on the way to losing the first quarter, the Griffins won the next three by comfortable margins; closing the game on the humiliating note of a nothin’-but-net trey from The Dan to cap a 26 – 11 final quarter blow out. Pete hit 18 on his return, The Dan reaching 14 with that final quarter madness. 14 was much less than the number of times the event was mentioned after the game, no doubt.

Griffins 72 – 48 University of SA (Pete 18, Dan 14, Tom 10, Patty 9, John 8, Brad 7, Max 4, Stu 2)

Next up was Torrens Valley, the Griffins a spectre of their best lineup with various players unavailable – Pete having been promoted to division 3. Kris Dyer suited up to give the Griffins a sixth man. The first quarter was full of encouraging signs, with some late threes giving the Cougars a one point lead at the interval. Unfortunately, the Griffins came out all purple in the second half, allowing one Cougar to score 14 points – all from within the arc or at the line. We would never recover, with the 13 point 2nd quarter differential proving to be the deciding margin, despite Brad having one of his better games in division 4 and Stu continuing his fine point scoring form since being promoted from division 5.

Griffins 64 – 77 Torrens Valley (Brad 16, Stu 14, John 13, Patty 11, Tom 6, Kris 4)

Needing a win to keep alive our now 99% fat free, no added sugars finals hopes, the Griffins next game was against the team contemporaneously (legitimately use a bigger word, fellow editors ) occupying our desired fourth spot on the ladder: North Adelaide Red. An unexpected boost was received before tip off, with the game switched from the Launchpad to the Dome due to what I can only hope had something to do with a meteor destroying Hillcrest. Seriously though, apparently there’s a hole in the floor? I’m not surprised – there’s holes in every other dimension of the building, not to mention a dent in the gate by court 2 from when one Kelly Penn shoved some **PROFANITY WARNING** from the Bearcats into it last year. Good times.

Yes, good times… unlike most of the game I’m supposed to be reviewing, here. A 20 – 5 first quarter no show from the Griffins was the chief architect of our ultimate demise – the Griffins front court struggling all night to get into any kind of rhythm, out hustled and out toughed by shorter but meaner North forwards. The return of Chris McMichael to the tune of 22 points not enough to halt the probable slide out of the finals race with a 14 point loss – nobody else hitting double figures.

Griffins 52 – 66 North Adelaide Red (Chris 22, Max 7, Tom 7, Patty 6, Stu 4, John 4, Brad 2, Nath zero)

The resulting drop from fifth to seventh has put the not-so-greater Griffins all but mathematically out of contention of a finals spot this season, with three games to play. The maybe-not-quite-lesser-anymore Griffins, however, are only a point out of fourth after their double header double whammy.

Go Griffins!

The Greater Griffins (team 2) were teetering, with 7 wins and 6 losses, and coming off an uninspiring performance against the lowly North Red. The needed to register a victory against the Lesser Griffins (team 1) to establish themselves firmly as contenders for the playoffs.

The game began much in the same way the previous derby was played – hard-fought, scrappy, intense basketball. Mockywocky went coast to coast with the foul to open the scoring and the Greater Grifs went on to score the next 7 points, courtesy of a Buckets’ bucket and some fine post play from one Jay Radar Johnson  Esquire. Leading 9-0 the Greater Grifs had established control over the match, control they would not relinquish until well into the fourth quarter. Money finally got the Lesser Grifs on the board, and The Dan hit a pair from the stripe, but it was like building a sandcastle to hold back the ocean – the Greater Grifs took the quarter 13-4, led by Radar’s 7.

Other stuff happened in the next two quarters. Stuff like Buckets getting more buckets, John showing a pulse and getting some runners to go, Mockywocky hitting a three, Rich hitting two threes, and Kel launching at least seven threes, and making one, The Dan intimidating the ref into making bogus calls, and Mockywocky getting T’d up for swearing at the ref for making bogus calls. The highlight of this period of the game was definitely Toby’s up-and-under scoop reverse. Fantastic! The Lesser Grifs began establishing their height and strength inside, getting to the rim and finishing at the line. The Lesser Grifs took the middle two quarters by a combined 31-24, making it 37-35 going into the final quarter. Leading scorers at this point had Rich (9), Chris (8) and The Dan (8) leading Uni 1, with Mocky (10), Jay (9) and Kel (8) guiding Uni 2.

The final quarter was an arm wrestle. The funny thing is it was won by the guy with the skinniest arms on the court. Patty showed zip and touch, roadrunnering 4 straight points to give Uni 1 its first lead of the match. TJ hit a tough runner in the lane and Jay got to the line and converted and this gave Uni 2 a two point lead with less than a minute to play. At this point Tom Alford ran off the court and into the nearest telephone booth, got his lycra on, strapped on his cape , put on his mask, then came running back onto the court at warp speed: it’s hero time. Tom stepped up and demonstrated he’s got balls the size of a rhino’s by nailing a straight-away triple off a broken play with 20 ticks on the clickety, giving Uni 1 a one point lead. And what happened next? Well, the clock ran down, the ball got swung, and with less than a second on the clock Kel hit ‘The Shot’ and in doing so may have delivered what might be the ugliest game winner in Griffins history.

FINAL SCORE:

Adelaide University 2 def Adelaide University 1, 48-47.

Scorers: Uni 1 – The Dan 12; Money, Richie 9; Tonkin 6; Patty 4; Tom, Stubs 3; Max 1

Scorers: Uni 2 – Radar 15; Kel, Mockford 10; Scotty Buckets 5; Toby 4; TJ, Robbo 2; Wens 0

Uni 1 went 13/16 from the free throw line (81%) and hit 4 threes

Uni 2 went 14/20 from the free throw line (70%) and hit 2 threes

Some player and crowd responses to ‘The Shot’:

“Well, with my pink eye, everything’s a bit blurry. I couldn’t really get a good look at what was going on…” – Dr Brian Ho

“When Kel put that shot up, I seemed to float in mid air for ages… I mean, it seemed to float in mid air for ages” – Adam Robertson

“Man, I’m so unfit, I got puffed out just watching the game. I was too tired to see the last shot *breathes heavily*” – Scotty K

“When I saw that shot go up everything suddenly went slow. And trust me, I know slow.” – Matt Wensley

“Aww, F#%*!” – Tom Alford

“I didn’t see Kel’s shot, I was too busy fouling everyone…” – The Dan Harris

“Alright, alright, I’ll admit, wearing the headband and then losing the game makes me look like a total stooge” – Johnny T

“Man, where’s the celebration from Kel? He was like Robocop or something. If I’d hit that shot and won the game I would’ve had my cock out and everything. It would’ve been bananas! *grabs crotch*” – Jay ‘Radar’ Johnson

“Ha! Just like I drew it up. Swing the ball uselessly 3 times, then TJ threads a pass between two defenders to a cutting Kel, who fumbles, then turns and fires up a terribly-off balance one-handed hook-shot from behind the backboard. Direction-Perfection. Hey, doesn’t Cleveland still need a coach?” – Phil Antram

“Yep. Probably should’ve called a time out.” – Chris Ellis

“Man, I would blocked that shit outta here. Why’d I get dropped? I’ve been putting in work, getting double figures on the regular. I’d have totally outplayed The Dan tonight. Gotta respect my game!” –Stuart Renigers (aka Disco Stu)

“Yeah, did you like my floating up-and-under reverse? Hardwood classic nights, baby… Oh wait, you mean Kel’s shot…umm…” – Toby Johnson

“Can I please have a new nickname?” – Mockywocky

“Baaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhrhrhrrrrrrrrrr” – Jamie Drumm

“That’s a foul. No wait, two fouls… and a travel” – the Umpire

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Thanks to everyone for coming out and supporting the Div 4 teams.

Thanks to Johanna and Charles for scoring.

-Kel

 “For now I’m being carefully evaluated by myself, we’ll see how I pull up, and I guess I’m in the doctor’s, you know, my, hands”

Adam Robertson was back in squad bringing much needed hops and raising the average athletic ability of the team back to a respectable and reasonable standard. Pre-game, Toby was talking up his DPOY game – “I’ma like the new Dwight Howard, you know the new Ben Wallace”, before checking himself and stating, “You know, I’m like the new Ronny Turiaf…” On the other hand, Jay talking down his recent points explosion – “Yeah, I know I dropped 35 last week, but, I’m a team guy, pass first type player. Don’t forget I scored 28 before that…” Yeah, it was a focused warm-up.

Kel, Scotty, Chris, Jay and Toby hit the floor, Robbo and Wens took a seat next to Phil, game on!

1st Quarter:

UniSA came out in a full court trap to start the game, forcing early Griffin turnovers. Once the ball cleared half-court it was lay-up city for the Griffins, but some poor decision making from the Griffins starting backcourt gifted UniSA an early lead. Chris nailed an open in-rhythm three, Kel went baseline reverse and Wens hit a leaning jumper from the wing to bring the Grifs back into contention. Jay finished around the rim, Tobes hit a short jumper off glass and Buckets finally found his stroke for one in the corner and the Grifs had taken a small lead. UniSA ran off 6 points unanswered before Scotty stepped up and put in two more right before the quarter buzzer. Quarter score 20-16, UniSA, and Scotty Buckets led all scorers with 4.

2nd Quarter:

 The Griffin’s sloppy, low scoring play continued. Turnovers and an inability to finish at the rim cost the Griffins as they made it much harder than it had to be. Kel swatted a three-point attempt, running it down for a Jay layup, Chris went glass for two and Scotty stepped up again hitting clutch shot after clutch shot. The Grifs took the quarter 11-10, but overall it wasn’t that memorable. Halftime score 30-27 UniSA. Scotty led all scorers with 8 at the half, followed by Jay with 6.

3rd Quarter:

 Jay began to impose himself on the game, getting out on the break and finished over UniSA’s bigs. Toby was patrolling the paint like it was Amity island and he was Jaws, chasing loose balls, spiking soft shots and eating small children. Robbo was pushing the tempo and taking the opposition point-guard right out of the contest with some fantastic one-on-one defence, Scotty hit another jumper (somebody, guard that man, he’s a shooter!) and Kel popped up, cashing two 3s from inbounds plays, and the Grifs were down by a point at the final change. Jay led scorers with 11, Kel and Scotty both had 10.

4th Quarter:

 Having taken all UniSA had thrown – presses, double teams, zones, pressuring man –  and wresting momentum with a third quarter surge, the Grifs were poised, ready to pounce on the jugular, or at least throw a few sharp elbows into the jujunem, of UniSA. No one scored in the first three minutes of the quarter, but a quick timeout by coach Phil, some reorganisational focus, and the Griffins were about to open the floodgates. Jay and Toby flicked on the over drive and left UniSA’s bigs in the dust, running the floor and finishing (well, mostly) on the break. Jay put up 7 while Toby had 4, including one coast to coast layup that had ‘uncontrollable steam-train’ written all over it. Defensively, the Grifs tightened the screws, holding UniSA without a field goal for the quarter, their three points coming from free throws. The Grifs ran away with the quarter 14-3 and the match 56-46.

FINAL SCORE:

Adelaide University 2 def UniSA 56-46 (Jay 18, Scotty 12, Kel 11, Toby Turiaf 8, Mockford 5, Wens 2, Robbo 0)

Notes:

Great shooting by Scotty all night, way to find a stroke.

Bigs held it down again – Tobes, Jay, Wens and Chris all hit the boards hard, especially in the second half, and this really pushed us to the win.

Shout out to Robbo for some excellent one-on-one defence against serial pest Cliff.

Grifs hit three 3s as a team and went 5/16 (31%) from the line. That’s filthy.

Lining up for a 9:20 game at the Port against the Spanish West Adelaide Team (Juan Carlos, Juan Pablo, Cheeko and Julio all present), and looking to bounce back after last weeks drubbing to “the other” Griffin squad, the Grrrifs were prepping for a scrappy up-and-down affair. Well, everyone was but Wens, who was doing his best to have a nap at centre court. The previous time these two teams met, it was the infamous “that’s it, we’re leaving” game when the West coach threatened to forfeit the match to remove his players from the dangerous psychopaths that wore the black, white and blue. This was despite Iain being horse-collared on a fast break and Juan Pablo punting the ball into the Hillcrest roof causing dust and asbestos to shower the floor. Moreover, this was the match of “the dunk”, where Johnny T finally popped that cherry and threw one down on the fast break. Those were my memories. Back to future, MJ Fox style, the Grrrifs were down two men; Toby ‘Tasty Toobs’ Johnson was off fulfilling his requirements for the Mile High Club and Brian ‘Young B’ Ho was somewhere tearing along Grand Junction Road at 90 kmph. The Phantom was roaming the sidelines with his Coach Krzwzewski constipated face set to a tee, while on court Robbo and Jay were doing their best to maximise their hops by throwing down some nice one-handers during warm-ups. The afore-mentioned Jay Johnson (JJ), Wens, Mockford, Buckets and Kel hit the court while Robbo hit the pine. Game on!

 First Quarter:

Whether it was the cold, whether it was the short bench rotation, or whether it was the fear of getting stabbed in the car park before entering the stadium, but the Grrrifs started slow. Wens decided to employ the ‘I won’t box out if you don’t rebound’ strategy on his opposite number who clearly didn’t get that memo and put up six quick points on offensive boards. On the other end, the Grrrifs were embarrassing West on inbounds plays, running game like the Blue Devils and catching uncontested layups off back screens, slip screens and curls. Jay had his Altair game working smoothly, quietly and subtly going about his business assassinating West’s front line to the tune of 8 points in the first. If Jay’s game was all silk and smooth, Wens was on some UFC shit doing his best to hammer dudes in the post, spinning left and right, ducking the shoulder and doing his best Tractor Traylor impersonation. Chris Mockford (who desperately needs a nickname that isn’t ‘Mocky-wocky’, as Danielle suggested on the way home) had his Bob Lee Swagger game working tight, nailing a triple and pumping up the crowd. Scotty Buckets finally got a shot to go to close the quarter but West’s ran it back the other way under 3 seconds and hit a lucky floater, so the Grifs trailed 18-15 at the first break.

Second Quarter:

Brian pulled an offense straight from the Tom Frogley playbook and rocked up to the wrong stadium. Shmooving up to the Port at quarter time, ‘B’ immediately made his impression felt in the second, grabbing two easy steals, initiating transition and flying all over the court at warp speed. And while B’s form on court looked nice, his form on the bench was all-star to say the least. Let’s just say the secretaries at my work are all 60+ and built like Mack trucks, so it’s good if you can get it. Jay picked up right where he left off and scored on two straight possessions bringing his tally to 12 for the half. Coach Phil shifted the defence from a man to a wide 3-2 zone to shut down West’s pesky shooters and dribble penetration. Some of West’s heaves would’ve made C-Money and his rainbow shot blush: three-pointers released one-handed that damn near touched the ceiling. Manute Bol was obviously in charge of the Bearcat’s shooting drills. Offensively the Griffins were getting no love from the boys in black and grey; hacks, slaps and holds were going unnoticed and were clearly frustrating Jay and Wens, who were held scoreless for the second-half of the quarter. Robbo stepped up and hit a three from straightaway, Kel split pair from the line and Mockford adjusted the sight on his sniper scope and nailed another triple. The Grifs took the low scoring quarter 11-9 but trailed at the major break 27-26. Jay led the Grifs with 12 and Mockford had 6.

Third Quarter:

 Switching from a 3-2 to a 2-3 zone, the Grifs looked to wrest back momentum from the Bearcats. Wens hit a jumper, but West rallied and stretched the lead to 9. Robbo sparked the comeback, hitting two straight ‘float-like-a-butterfly-sting-like-a-bee’ jumpers where I swear he released the ball on the descent of his leap. JJ flexed the extender-claws and crashed the boards like Wolverine for a big follow bucket and the Grifs were back in striking distance. Mockford nailed his third triple for the game and narrowly missed his fourth on the buzzer. Westies took another low-scoring quarter 15-14 and the Grifs trailed 42-40 at the final change.

Fourth Quarter:

 The table had been set, entree had come and gone, the main course had been cleared and it was time for dessert and Kel was doling out big spoonfuls of buckets-pudding to any West player who wanted a serve. A pair of threes, pulls ups, step backs and finger rolls had the Griffins snatch the lead early in the Fourth and they didn’t look back. JJ got in the lane for a quick-fire four points, Mockford wheeled and dealed in the post for two more and the Grifs rocked the Bearcats to sleep, taking the quarter 17-5 and the match 57-47.

 FINAL SCORE:

 Adelaide Uni Griffins 2 def West Adelaide 57-47 (Jay 19, Kel 14, Chris Mockford 11, Robbo 7, Wens 4, Buckets 2, Brian 0)

Notes:

Good grind-it-out win, we stuck with them through three quarters, then strapped on the afterburners in the fourth. Massive game from Jay, providing consistent offence in brutal offensive conditions.

The Grifs went 5/9 at the Charity Stripe (56%)

Rumours were afoot pre-match that Dwight Howard would be starting at centre for Norwood, but apparently they didn’t think their big man could handle the best defence in the north pool. Instead, the Flames fielded kindling but forgot the matches – who needs length when you’ve got Ray Allen, right?

Memo to Norwood Basketball Club: you don’t got Ray Allen.

The Griffins took full advantage of the lack of Norwood height in the first, pulling down spades of offensive boards and converting second chance points. Stu – elevated to cover the absence of Max and Yours Truly – along with Pete were the main beneficiaries in the first period, putting in 5 and 7 points respectively. On the back of their aggressive play, the Griffins got to the charity stripe seven times for the quarter, although only converting 6 of the 13 freebies.

Griffins 22 – 14 Norwood

Deciding they couldn’t hack going mano-a-mano with the Griffins, Norwood switched to a zone in the second, somewhat slowing the Griffins scoring rate. Pete and Tom still managed to find holes in their defence, however, collecting 6 points each. The second period was most notable for a momentus event involving a certain Patty B. Left wide open on the far side of the court, Patty decided he wanted the ball. No, like – he really wanted the ball. He even called for it. Twice. The kicker? We could hear it on the bench. But did he get the ball? Alas, no – Tom decided to drive through three players for the lay-in instead. Maybe he thought it wasn’t Patty?

Griffins 40 – 29 Norwood

The third was a tight affair – the Griffins shading it 12 to 11, with no player from either side scoring more than a single field goal each. I got no funny stories for this quarter – it was pretty boring. The ref did ask me if I ever smiled, though. Did anyone see Chris Rock yapping in Kobe’s ear on the bench in game 2? I told the ref “no” and gave the opposite wall of the stadium a cold, hard, Kobe stare.

Griffins 52 – 40 Norwood

The Flames sparked a little early in the fourth, hitting a couple of threes and making the Griffins defence look shit. Who am I kidding? A couple of times it was shit. They got within 6 points of the lead, but Brad and Jesse found their range from beyond the arc and with a couple of quick baskets and some woeful foul shooting when it mattered from Norwood, the game was done.

Griffins 68 – 59 Norwood (Pete 20, Tom 12, Stu 11, Patty 9, Brad 7, Jesse 7, Nath 2)

Props to Pete and Tom for making the offence happen all night, as well as to Stu for taking no time at all to get into stride in div 4 in the last two weeks. Good win lads!

So I hear there’s another division 4 men’s team? Not quite sure what’s up with that, but a little birdy tells me if you wait patiently and keep checking this here website that you might come across a wee tale of whatever happened on the other court at Hillcrest whilst we were busy watering Norwood down to size.

As for me? Tune in next week to see if you’ll roar with manic laughter as the king of puns returns to narrate our clash with the Centrals Lions. Now, maybe I’ll stop lion around and go watch a replay of game three…

Good luck to everyone going to Tanunda!